Anyway,
I wouldn't say I like to lie to people I just like to embellish the truth a little. Make life a little more spicy in my rather bland "oatmeal" world. For instance I like to say that I was in certain music videos, preferably in my fave singers/bands videos. Ya see I betcha didn't know I was in a Steve Winwood video:
see? That's me right there. Yep.
Ok so that isn't me, but isn't life a little more spicy now? Sure it is.
Another thing I like to embellish about is guys I have dated, or just plain made out with. Example:
Oh Andrew, you can never do me wrong...
My hair was shorter then. I was experimenting with many options back then I have since grown my hair long.
I also like to pretend I'm friends with celebrities via Twitter.
@WilliamZabka
@thisistherealLC don't beat urself up. It took years to groom & they don't sell that brand of mouse anymore. #TrueColours by Vidal Sassoon
I mean Johnny Lawrence REALLY is my friend. He sends me messages through the cable box. Every morning at 3:00 when it restarts itself I know for a fact that Billy Zabka is thinking about me.
:dies:
Let's move on away from the "lies" shall we? Yes we shall.
So I made the stupid mistake of weighing myself at work. Heh. Obviously the scale is broken because I do NOT weigh 200 lbs. At least I hope not. Looking like an ostrich is not a good look for me. Although I would like to someday just bury my head in the sand. I made a "vow" before I go to Florida (Dec 5-12) that I would at least try to fit in one size smaller than I am. Can it be done? What about my roaring cheese addiction? Will that have to say "bye bye?" Well, yes. Sad. Cutting down on cheese is harder than quitting cigarettes. Seriously. Cheese probably won't cause emphysema (well I hope not) so you don't really associate cheese with bad things. Unless you eat a 2 lb block of it and your colon explodes then that is a different story completely. But yea I need to cut down on the cheese. No soda. No pop tarts. No fun. Gah! I also downloaded Leslie Sansone's 5 Mile Walk whatever thingy DVD. I thought the work out (which consists of..well..walking in place with some high impact alternatives) was going to be a piece of cake. Mmm..cake...*smacks head* WRONG! My legs are killing me. I did 2 miles of walking/jogging and I wanted to seriously projectile vomit all over the wall. I will not give up though. I "vow" (yes there's that dreaded word again) to do the workout everyday until the day I leave. I need to seriously cut the crap.
There I confessed. I am a cheese-a-holic, a cheesy, a cheese whore..
"what's he gonna confess? takin' a shit?"
I will keep you informed of such weight updates (well maybe...)
Current weight: 200 lbs (according to work..I just about died laughing)
Goal weight: anything less than that horrid number I just mentioned
Dress size: (ok, I don't wear dresses so I guess pant size?) 12
Goal: 00 (ha maybe if I cut 1/2 of my body off, including all of my arse)
Another thing I need to get done before Florida is my hair. Every picture I have of me shows off the fact that I have an enlarged forehead. In real life it isn't that big but pictures just make my head look like a globe or something. If you know me then you would know that I HATE getting my hair cut. HATE IT! When I was 16/17 I had David Bowie/Billy Idol hair, John Taylor burgundy hair, the awkward mullet stage, etc. Nowadays, forget it. I'm so paranoid that the hairdresser is going to cut my hair too short and I seriously have panic attacks.
If not a serious haircut then maybe some highlights.
Hmm maybe not.
Well that's Lauren's self-improvement for the week. Crap tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Turkey doesn't contain cheese so I should be good. But all those delicious pies will be staring me right in the face saying "Have some LC, we are GOOOOOD!" but no! I will punch those pies! NO NO NO!
To all my American readers (which is probably none) Happy Thanksgiving! and if you're not American then umm...Happy Thursday! :o)
Til we meet again,
-L-
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