untitled

not in one of those "write a bunch of upsetting shit til I find myself crying alone in my bed and wonder why I resemble a rabbit in the morning." Just not. Today was not a good day. To anyone else that isn't me it probably wouldn't have been that bad. A day or so before Thanksgiving I received a letter from Walmart saying that Coopervision was recalling certain contact lenses. (Why is Walmart sending me these letters? I go to the vision center in their store. Oi.) Side effects didn't seem that bad (no death, coma, decreased libido, purple spots, etc) just irritation and hazy vision. Well I have that all the time contacts or no contacts. Anyway I finally get to Walmart (another idiot move happened yesterday that prevented me from going) the supervisor (to whom I was supposed to talk to regarding this matter) said I had to make an appointment for a different day to get re-fitted. Re-fitted for what? You guys should have all of my measurements/prescriptions/whatever on my file. I asked the guy that made my appointment whether or not this would be considered a visit-visit or just a 15 minute doesn't have to go through insurance (which I DON'T have). He said he hadn't the faintest idea. Confidence right there. So now I have to go on Friday for this "visit." If it counts as a full visit I have no money to pay for it right now. I'm going away on Monday for a week which means I won't be working to make peanuts..I mean MONEY. Right. Everything goes wrong when I'm going away.

What else went wrong?

Let's see about 8 pairs of my pants DO NOT FIT. And not in the good way of not fitting. Started a fairly decent exercise regime and diet and it still isn't doing SHIT. I feel like ripping all of my clothes up. Tired of looking at clothes that will probably never fit me again. My left knee (which If you know...I'm talking to you Ceri cuz you seem like the only person that reads these or listens to me) has been hurting like crazy since August when I was in Florida. Got so bad I couldn't walk without dragging my foot or doing some kind of modified glide step. So exercising on bad knees just seems somewhat counterproductive. If the pain gets bad I'm stealing a wheel chair. Seriously.

It seemed that the scale at work was not calibrated. Well stupid me fixed it and I still weigh not 200 but a few kilos (i dunno kilos) less. But not much. What the hell? I eat just the same amount and the same kind of food. What is the fuckin deal? It's annoying and making me more depressed.

How can I be in a relationship of any kind with anyone else if I can't even say one thing nice about myself. If I wasn't me I'd tell myself to go fuck myself.


Goodnite.