Dr Bronner's Magic Soap

I bought this one day back in December due to the many (mostly positive) reviews I've read online. I was looking for something organic to possibly use a facial soap. My skin was reeking havoc and I was at my wit's end. So it was either give this a shot or use a blow-torch. I chose lavender because it's supposed to be healing, blah blah blah. Ok then. Sure. The peppermint scented soap was just too..pepperminty. *shrugs* Anyway, seeing that this "magic" soap is multi-functional (?) I will break down and review exactly what I used this "magic" soap for.


Before I start, if you're not into religious writings on your soap either peel the label off after purchasing or just don't buy it. Me, I just don't pay attention although it is quite interesting.



Facial cleanser: I must say that this does help dry up any blemishes you might have on your face, but please DILUTE before using! This is like super-ultra-concentrated! You could probably take paint off the wall with it. Sometimes I use it plain (one squirt with a handful of water, mix it around on your hand, apply to face) or I mix it with my Burt's Bees Citrus Facial Scrub (one squirt and a blob of scrub)
I was quite surprised, being as concentrated as it is, the soap really didn't make my face dry and scaly. Thumbs up for that.

Bathroom cleaner: I told you this stuff was multi-functional! I used this to clean my tub with. Fill the tub up with hot water, add about 5-6 squirts, let it sit and enjoy the lavender scent. It does help break down some of the shampoo and soap gunk but I really wouldn't recommend this as a heavy-duty, soap scum removing, sterilizing cleaner. It's hippie soap so you know it doesn't do well in the cleaning (of bathrooms that is) department. I'm just glad it doesn't stink of patchouli.

Toothpaste:Ok I haven't the foggiest idea why anyone would use this as toothpaste. I mean, how good of a job could it possibly do? No fluoride, no SLS, nothing. It would probably taste like crap too. If you're that into organic/natural toothpaste I'd say pick up Tom's of Maine or The Natural Dentist toothpaste. If you do insist on using this as "toothpaste" I'd say pick up the peppermint scent. Who wants their breath to smell like lavender?

Shampoo:Hmm..no. At first it seemed like a good idea because it added texture and body to my otherwise limp hair. After a couple of days of using this (diluted of course) my hair resembled that of a rastafarian's. A big no-no for me. I couldn't even run a comb through it. It was a puff ball but a greasy puff ball, if that makes any sense. I just don't recommend it for hair. Run far away!!


I believe that is all I used this "magic soap" for. Would I recommend it? Yes, just not as shampoo or toothpaste. I haven't used any of the other scents yet seeing that I still have half a bottle of lavender left.

The price was a tad much (I thought at the time) but considering that it does last a while and you can use it for more than one purpose it wasn't that bad at all.


Sooooo OMGZZZ

LOVE!!!!! Lxxxxxxxxxx

I'm on the hunt, I'm after YOU Day: 2

I had a beautiful Easter (and that's pretty odd for me to say seeing that every other Easter was cold) today. Saw my family and all that good junk. It was about 80 degrees outside, and let's just say that warm/hot weather=a very happy Lauren. I take after my dad, in more ways than one, because we both prefer the heat. The only time I like working on my car (and when I say working on I mean cleaning or washing it not actually working on it because I'm slow in that department), is in the hot sun. Don't know why. I do enjoy snow, but the cold dark days just get me depressed. I love the sun, bright blue skies, being able to get some color on my overly pale legs, the sound of the air conditioner kicking on..oh man. I just love it.

So this is day 2 of my Walgreen's knock-off of Cera Ve lotion. So far, so good. No new break-outs to speak of, no red patches, itchiness, or greasiness. Good good good. No unusual smells which is always a good thing.

This will be a short blog because I really don't have much to say yet. It's only day 2, and miracles usually don't happen in that short of time.


LOVE!!!! Lxxxxxx

I'm on the hunt, I'm after YOU Day: 1

I've been on a search for a couple of years now for the perfect facial moisturizer. How much more vain could this possibly sound but given the fact that I've been suddenly blessed with less than perfect skin, I believe that this a fair search. Anyway...my dermotologist triggered my breakouts and facial redness to a possible allergic reaction. Fine, but to what? I tried eliminating caffeine from my diet and almost winded up in a padded room at the hospital. Padded room with a view? I knew my vitamin D level was low so I started taking my prescription vitamin D. No big improvements. Frustrated I figured that my laundry deteregent might be the culprit. I headed to the grocery store and picked up a huge bottle of "dye free, color free, fragrance free, ingredient free, you're really buying maple syrup" detergent. No big improvements either although my skin did feel a little less itchy. So I sit here again frustrated because I don't know what is causing these breakouts. I feel I am too old to be breaking out now and when other people point it out and tell me I should buy some crap off of TV then pretty much burns off your epidermis, I get a little more than upset. Just completely annoyed with my skin. What could be causing this fiasco? I take the medication and use the lotion that the dermatologist gave me but they only help a little. I want this problem gone NOW.
Being extremely bored at night does have it's advantages. I studied the ingredients of the lotion I was using for my hands and face and noticed it contained "petrolatum." I'm no scientist in any means so I looked it up. Although noncomodegenic that doesn't mean it still can't cause a reaction for some people. Interesting. I remembered back to what my doctor said I should use. Cera Ve lotion. Not the cream. Doesn't contain lanolin like others I have tried, and won't clog pores. Only problem with Cera Ve is the price tag. About $15 for the lotion. Everything I want has to come with a hefty price tag doesn't it? Of course.
After getting a much needed hair cut (that's a whole different story in itself) I stopped by Walgreens to finally buy the "holy grail." I had 2 options: Walgreens brand or the actual Cera Ve brand. I studied the ingredients in both and opted for the less expensive Walgreens brand. Score!
Let's skip to the important factors here, shall we? Ok. Take shower, wash face, etc. Apply moisturizer. Ok no problem. I give myself about 2 "squirts" of lotion and apply to my face. No burning, no itching, no tingling. So far so good. I noticed it didn't moisturize my hands too well but that's not why I bought it soooo....anyway. The fake Cera Ve didn't aggravate any pre-exisiting breakouts nor did it cause anymore. Yay so far. My face looked a little greasy after applying but it didn't feel greasy and gross. A lot of times with moisturizers and lotions they tend to turn my face red. I'm still convinced it's the petrolatum. So seeing that this is the first day/night I'm trying this lotion out I shall report back in a few days to see if my skin does look better.

Vintage-y Crapola

Somehow I seemed to have peeled myself away from my Forensic File couchlock and prepared a rather simple description of my fabulous fun times at the thrift stores. How does one tell the difference between vintage and just plain crap? I'm not too entirely sure myself but sit back and listen to my tale entitled "What is that smell?"

This past Tuesday I had fabulous jury duty. I was really hoping my number wouldn't get called but of course it did. What the hell made me so special? Duh. I was mad because I had planned a "date" with my mother to check out a few thrift stores in the area, and plus my niece was born the day before so if I couldn't go "thrifting" I definitely wanted to go see her. So I sat in Jury Assembly for two boring hours counting the seconds and lo and behold my number gets called AGAIN. This time I had to go to the actual court and again sit there. The judge asked if there was any of us that wouldn't be able to serve until June and a crapload of people raised their hands, including me. There's no way I could afford to give up work to make $5 a day in court. Sheesh. I went up to the sidebar, pleaded "my case" and the judge excused me. Thank you, your honor!

Anywho, this leaves me plenty of time to hit up a local crap shop until they close at 4 pm. I was seriously fighting to keep my eyes open and was contemplating napping instead. Nah. Shop til I literally drop from exhaustion. That's the ticket. I go pick up Mumsy and off we go. First stop: SOCH Holly-whatever-the-hell-it's-called Store Thing. The first hint we should've skipped this store was probably the cop cars that were lining up down the street. None of the traffic lights worked and, as we come to find out, all of Manahawkin's power was out. The store had no lights and the smell was horrifying. It was probably from the 80000 people that kept letting their kids toot all over the store. Whatever. I managed to find a Stacey Q record and some "retro" looking shirts. Only one of the three I bought was actually worth a taking a picture of. It's a Cathy Daniels, uh, original?

and Ms. Q

After losing my mother several times in the dark we decided to get the hell out of there before something more catastrophic would occur.



Skip a head a couple of days and that brings us to Thursday. I slept in later than I had planned on so I was rushing to get out before the stores closed. Mind you it wasn't that late it was about 1 pm, but the thrift stores close early around these parts. I owed my 16 year old niece a "date" so I called her up and asked her to go shopping with me. We headed on over to the Good Will. Think what you want but you can find some pretty nifty things in there aside from bed bugs. My niece was growing insatiably bored by the interesting clothing selections so I told her to go find me some records. I know she didn't listen to me because I saw her at the other end of the clothing rack texting. Kids today, I tell ya. Fifteen minutes of searching for the damn record "section" I figured that the two 14 year olds holding the big circular black thingies asking each other "like what the hell are these things?" held the key to my mystery. A ha. Victory. Did you ever notice that thrift stores happen to have a lot of Herb Alpert and Dionne Warwick records? 'Tis true. I found an album that I didn't recognize but when I took the record out it turned out to be Led Zeppelin's Swang Song, although I seriously doubt that that was the album cover. I was happy with my findings at that store and will definitely be making another trip back soon. I also received a Good Will "VIP" card. So now I'm ultra-cool.

"Mysterious" album with LZ inside.

So yes I shall be returning for more Vintage-y Crapola where I will showcase my "Louis Vuitton" and "Gucci" purses. Are they real? Who cares, they were only $2 a piece!

LOVE!!!

LC X

Hmm

In case you haven't noticed from my dubious Twitter ramblings I've been feeling pretty crappy this week. Period woes? Yea, but this time I felt even shittier. It's a mixture of things, I believe, but I only know some of the "ingredients." I think to myself "how can anyone hate themselves so much the way that I hate myself?" Most of the time I don't think I'm that bad of a person but some days I question it.

When I was younger I never thought I'd be this way. I always dreamed of getting married and having kids, blah blah blah. People tell me all of the time, "never get married" or "wait until you're X years old to have kids." Ok. That's fine. I don't mind that. What I do mind is people telling me I have to have a man or that I need somebody. Yea I get that but why? Why do I need anybody? I don't. I never felt lonelier than when I was with somebody. But then I think well maybe I would be happier if I was married or whatnot. I just feel confused sometimes and I wish I could just be blase and not give a fuck but we all know that isn't possible sometimes.


Even if you only knew me for a week you'd know that I have some major body image issues. Derrrr. I feel myself "fishing" for compliments and I really don't mean to. I just need reassurance that I don't smell like ass, that I don't look like a disgusting mess, etc. I don't want pity/sympathy/wah wah wah shit...just reassurance.

I see the number on the scale. Some days it changes. Other days it doesn't. Annoying. It seems that no matter what I do I can't drop the weight I want to. I look in the mirror and feel disgusted. How and why did I let myself get this way? It's like looking in a fun house mirror that makes everything look vertically impaired. What am I supposed to do? Develop a coke habit? Too poor for that. Stop eating? Well that's always good for your heart. I just don't understand. I haven't been eating a lot of junk food lately. 8 glasses of water a day, blah blah blah. No changes. I wasn't expecting miracles after day one but seriously. Whatever.


I had some bad habits. It's been over a year since I've done "it." Just to clarify: "it" wasn't drugs/alcohol or sleeping around but it was an addiction. These past few days really made me want to go back but something made me not do it. I'm glad that annoying little voice is in my head even though half the time it's saying "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care..."


Meh. I guess that's it for now.

-L-

Bucket List

Being in the doldrums of a grey and zest-less life I've concocted a sort of a bucket list for myself. Some of the crap will be corny as hell and some will be brazen. In no particular order:

Get my motorcycle license
Wear bright red lipstick in public
Wear 5+ inch heels in public and not walk like a total robot
Drink wheatgrass juice
Travel to England
Ride a mechanical bull
Sport a mohawk
Drive a Ferrari
Get my nose pierced
Call up one of my old class mates from high school and tell them to "fuck off."
Put out a CD


To be continued...?

Prescriptives Calyx

Prescriptives Calyx

top notes: guava, papaya, passion fruit
middle notes: jasmine, marigold

I've been on a hunt for this unique scent for a while. The reviews and descriptions I have come across describe Calyx as a bizarre, sour, "rotten fruit" smell and thus this intrigued me even more. Being a huge fan of anything 80's, except for fried crunchy mall bangs and New Coke, I knew I needed to buy this. I needed to relive "the good years." Right. I looked on Amazon and the prices were outrageous. About $75 plus for half an ounce and it wasn't even Calyx, it was Calyx SHEER. Bull dinky, I need the full effect here.
This past Saturday I took my niece shopping and of course we ended up at Ulta. I searched the perfume section several times before this shopping trip and came up short. No Calyx to be found. But this time I proved to be lucky. Sitting right next to Nina Ricci's Puke Spray (L'air du Temps) was the "infamous" green juice. There were only 2 boxes left. A dented one and less dented one. I opted for the less dented one. I sprayed the tester and needless to say my 16 year old niece gagged a little. Ahhh, but there it was: sweet 80's satisfaction. I didn't care, I savored the moment.
Calyx brought back memories of sunny blue skies with big fluffy white clouds. Sure it has somewhat of an "older" fragrance to it, but it sure as hell isn't Estee Lauder's Cinnabar. a.k.a. Vomit-bar. The best way I can describe the scent is like dropping a piece of spearmint gum into freshly mowed grass with the occasional marigold thrown in there. It's a clean, green scent. No cloying jasmine or patchouli stench here. After about an hour it transforms into a somewhat "sweet grass" smell...if that makes sense. As far as the rotten fruit smell? I suppose I can see where one could get that from. There is a hint of fruit in there somewhere. It's not really a sharp, tangy, acidic smell but it's not a sweet sugar-bomb stench either.
What I really like is that it actually lasts a whole work day for me (8-9 hours). It doesn't dry down into some pongy, acrid smell. No strong alcohol smell. And bonus: it smells fabulous with my Arid XXXXXXtra dry anti-perspirant. Score!

The price wasn't that bad about $52 for 1.7 oz. There was body wash and lotion available as well. Umm...no. I need SPRAY, damn it!

I couldn't stop smelling myself all day. I must've looked silly but whatever. I smelled delicious. My mother even asked me what I was wearing.



Was I happy with my find? Oh yes indeed.
Would I purchase again? HELL YES!


I will be conducting an experiment. Wear this perfume everytime I go out somewhere and see if I get bad reactions or good ones. Stay tuned...